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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

  
"why do some people can’t take a heart break while others move on like they were never in a relationship, some  get offended at a minor banter while others make fun of themselves , some can’t handle work pressure while  others  make the best of it, some can’t bear a loss of the loved ones and succumb while others in the memory of the loved ones become the best version of themselves."

We often hear people saying that he is strong or the situation made him strong or when it falls on your shoulder you become strong. Do these people have better psychological well being than others?

There are some famous people who at one point of time had the most trying and challenging life. Oprah winfrey’s rags to riches story, Eminem’s drugs and alcohol abuse, Michael Sylvester Gardenzio Stallone slurred speech to Rocky film series to Golden Globe Award. Each of these individual encountered a difficult time, however with high EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT, made it through.  

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE OR EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT OR EQ AND HOW IT IS DIFFERENT FROM INTELLIGENT QUOTIENT OR     COGNITIVE INTELLIGENCE: 

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE is the emotional, personal, social, survival dimension of intelligence, which is of prime importance for our daily functioning than cognitive aspect of intelligence. Our emotional intelligence is concerned with understanding oneself and others; it deals with adapting to and coping with the immediate surroundings in the dynamic world. Whereas, cognitive intelligence is more about ability to learn, recall, think and reason. In a sense, emotional intelligence demands immediate action and hence it is tactical, on the other hand cognitive intelligence is strategic and, therefore,  it is a long term capacity.  

Famous Author Daniel Goleman quotes :

If your emotional abilities aren’t in your hand ,If you don’t have  self – awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions , if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships , then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far. 

Are people born with innate EQ capacity or they expand their emotional horizon over the years.

From my personal experience and from the experiences of the people I have met ,  I learnt that emotional intelligence is not an activity  that we can learn in a span of few months or a period of a  year nor  it is  an attribute of being born to emotionally  strong parents.

Every person on this earth experience a situation in life where they have two choices,  either to lose control and let situation handle the course or let his emotional self understand the gravity and intensity of the problem and act according to the problem at hand. The former shows lack of experience in life in purview of ignorance, egoism and nihilist attitude, the latter shows the experience in life in purview of resourcefulness, wisdom and humble attitude.

Can we develop emotional skills and emotional intelligence?

The answer is yes.

Emotional IQ is developed over the years, changed throughout life and can be improved through implementation and execution. 


Intrapersonal


 



#    Emotional self awareness is the ability to know one’s emotional stream, to be able to recognize the feelings and distinguish between different emotional flows and on delving deeper to be able to find the cause behind the particular emotion. These people often seek feed­back about their performance in personal and professional front. These people flourish on open, honest and genuine feedback about their strength and weaknesses. They seek a clear picture of them­selves than they alone could provide.



 #  Assertiveness is the ability to express feelings, e.g. ,( to accept and express anger, warmth ,and sexual feelings) , the ability to express beliefs and thoughts openly (e.g., being able to raise voice, disagree and take a definite stand, even if is emotionally difficult to do so), the ability to stand for personal rights (e.g., not allowing others to bother you or take advantage of you). These people are not over controlled or shy they openly express their feelings without being aggressive or abusive. 


 #  Self regard is the ability to respect and accept oneself as basically good. Respecting oneself reflects essentially liking the way one is. Self acceptance is the ability to accept one’s positive and negative facets as well as one’s limitations and possibilities. This component of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE is associated with feelings of security, inner strength, self assurance, self confidence and self adequacy. Such individual feels fulfilled and satisfied with himself/herself.


 #  Self-Actualization is the ability to realize and recognize one’s capabilities. This component is manifested by becoming involved in pursuits that brings meaningful, rich and full life. . Here an individual becomes involved in developing enjoyable and enthusiastic activities which gives birth to long term and short term goals. Self actualization is an ongoing, never ending dynamic process of striving towards maximum development of one’s abilities, capacities and talents. Excitement about one’s interest always energizes and motivates him/her. The most prominent feature of these individuals is resilience .


 #   Independence is the ability to be self reliant in taking important decisions. Independent people rely and trust their inner self before making significant moves in their lives however they consider other people’s opinion before making the right decisions in the end. Independence is essentially the ability to function autonomously in contrast to needing protection and support. Emotionally independent people hate the idea of clinging to others in order to satisfy their emotional needs.

         

Interpersonal

                             



  #   Empathy is the ability to understand, appreciate and respect   the feelings of others. It is to understand what, why and how the person feels a certain way. This component is the ability to read the other person and provide them with the solution if need be. Empathetic people show concern and care for other people. They also show keen ability to understand and respond to the issue which concerns others.

 

 #    Interpersonal relationship is the ability to build mutually satisfying relationship by intimacy and by giving and receiving affection. Positive interpersonal relationship is characterized by forming a relationship which brings ease, comfort and sensitivity towards each other.

  

                                                        

Adaptability

                                                                                          

  #    Problem solving aptitude is the ability to recognise and define the problem and zero  in on finding the potential solution to it. The process of problem solving is done in several phases, Which includes formulating the problem as clearly as possible e.g gathering relevant information, generating as many solution as possible e.g brainstorming, making a decision to implement one of the solutions. E.g weighing pros and cons and choosing the best course of action. These individuals aspire to do the best to confront their problems, rather than avoiding them.

#    Flexibility is the ability to adjust one’s emotions, behavior, and attitude to the unusual, unprecedented and unpredictable surrounding and dynamic circumstances. Flexible people are agile, adaptable and resilient. These individual are ready to change their mind when evidence suggest that they are mistaken. They are generally open to and tolerant to different idea, orientation, ways and practices.  

 


 

 Stress Management 


 #  Stress tolerance is the ability to withstand the stressful situation without getting overwhelmed and to be able to find ways to cope with stress. Stress tolerance is associated with the capacity to remain relaxed and composed and to calmly face difficulties, without being carried away with strong emotions. These individuals tend to face crisis calmly rather than surrendering to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. If this component of IQ is not functioning properly it often results in anxiety which in turn leads to poor decision making , lack of concentration and somatic problems like sleep disturbance etc.

 

 

 #  Impulse control is the ability to delay or resist the impulse or drive or temptation to act. Exercising this component of IQ can help keeping in check the low frustration level tolerance, impulsiveness, anger control problems, explosive and uncontrolled behavior. These individual possess self control and are better at handling problems than others. 

   

   General Mood 



                                      

 #  Happiness is the ability to enjoy life in any given circumstances. It is the way of looking at medium that gives meaning to life and make it more fulfilling and satisfying . Happiness is finding pleasure in helping others, giving and receiving good compliments, these people are always on pursuit of happiness. This component of IQ is the master of all the other components.

                             

#   Optimism is the ability to look at the brighter side of life. Optimism keeps things going even in the face of adversity. This component of IQ links with anticipating good future and practicing problem solving techniques. These people never get weighed down by distressing situations.


I am hoping that the above article will inspire you to reflect upon your moral and conscience and motivate you to discover an  unexplored path towards your emotional self. 

Happy Reading 🙂🙂🙂



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